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Perfecting Ourselves

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There is no point in quitting, or trying to quit something that you don’t really have the desire or willpower to quit. Dependency is a tough adversary. Instead of trying to quit entirely, try a minor shift in attitude from indulging in excess to practicing moderation. Let it put you in motion on a path in the right direction rather than be a process by which failure is almost assured.

One Less: Regardless of what negative lifestyle pattern is affecting your body, tomorrow see if you can do one less than usual. For example, if you smoke twenty cigarettes a day, tomorrow smoke nineteen. If you have three martinis with dinner, tomorrow have two. If you eat ten cookies at a time, tomorrow eat nine. Whatever it is, tomorrow do one less than today (or if you need to, one less this week or month than last week or month). Whatever the behavior, don’t think of it as “wrong” but simply as an excess with harmful effects.

Moderation is the key, and moderate behavior is soon rewarded by a healthier feeling in the body. As the body feels healthier, your behavior will naturally evolve. But the initial step is moderation. Don’t try to quit something you have no ability to quit. That will just stir more resistance. If you enjoy it, do it. Eventually, if you are genuinely sincere, you will reach a point where it doesn’t have a hold on you anymore and you can leave it behind. Until that time don’t stress about it.

Something Different

The point, of course, is to come to an agreement with the body in which we don’t feel forced into doing something we don’t want to do. From the time we are born we are told what to do by our parents, teachers, and society. Indeed, your negative behavior may be a response to what you believe was a repressive experience when you were growing up. But it only constitutes an exchange of one repression for another, not an exercise of control. Moderation is about taking control. It is about understanding when enough is enough and beginning the process of freeing ourselves from excess.

Something Different: To do something about being caught in a negative lifestyle pattern, it is important to introduce some kind of change of behavior. It doesn’t, at first, have to be a major change, just try something different. For example, change your cigarette brand to menthol. If you drink scotch, try drinking tequila. If you love potato chips, eat a bunch of grapes. If you watch television until you fall asleep, turn it off and read a book or do some moderate exercise. It doesn’t matter what you do, just do something that breaks the habitual pattern. The change itself brings a tangible awareness of how the body feels and reacts to the negative behavior.

The point here is not to stop the negative behavior completely, just occasionally try to take notice of and acknowledge it. Just as doing “one less” was a minor alteration, the key here is to make only a small adjustment that focuses your attention. As you become more aware of what is happening inside you and how your body is reacting, you are likely to experience an easing of the hold the negative behavior has on you and a renewed sense of your ability to take control.

Moderation is effective, in part, because of its simplicity. Don’t try to take on more than you can handle. The slower you go, the less you will notice the changes. You remain virtually the same, until one day you realize you are beginning to become someone different and truly feel much better.

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